This is one of 2 posts I have written on the same subject. This one evaluating modern feminism, and the trouble with it, so to speak. The other on the Lazy Sniper, about inequality within gaming. These have been a long time coming really, I’ve wanted to write about this for a few months, it has been a hot topic in the blogosphere 2 or 3 times in this time, and I have mentioned my viewpoint on one blog.
I want to start by saying that ‘trouble’ is entirely the wrong word to use, and I don’t want to start off on the wrong foot. This is how I see the gender situation in society, as a white female raised by a single parent family – my dad. My partner has also had a similar upbringing, so I suppose I’ve grown up seeing society from a different angle than a lot of females do.
The main idea behind feminism is to realise the problems in society between differing gender roles, the main being that generally speaking, the white males are more privileged, and that there is an inequality between the genders. It’s very much what it says on the can style. People who look most specifically at female issues, these can be men and transgendered folk too, it isn’t just limited to being female. And that’s great. There is a lot of inequalities in the world.
To begin with, from the moment we are born, we have these gender roles thrust upon us. Boys wear blue, girls wear pink. Boys play with toy guns, girls play with dolls. Boys are called big and strong, girls are called pretty and delicate. There is all sorts that while we are growing up provide us with the society appropriate gender roles, which isn’t necessarily right. Surely a child can choose which toys and games appeal to them most as a person, and not as a part of their gender? If a girl wishes to play with toy cars, that’s fine, equally, if a boy wants to play dress up with barbie dolls, what’s wrong with that?
This continues throughout our lives. Some people will stare at and mock transgendered people, because a man chooses to wear a dress, or a woman chooses to shave her head. From society’s perspective, these kinds of people are “weird” because they are not following the norms. Here’s the thing, there’s nothing wrong with it! We do live in a free country, and if this is the way they are most comfortable expressing themselves, good on them. However, it’s at this point I have to point out that it can be a little difficult to be a woman, as well.
If a woman chooses to act feminine by society’s standards, then she is a girl. If she likes cooking and baking, dressing pretty, styling her hair, these sorts of things, then she is a female, and prone to male attack. Via Twitter, the blog “My Fault, I’m Female” has been brought to my attention. In it, woman recount their stories of sexual, verbal, and physical harassment aimed towards them because they are female and a lot of them are just disgusting. These are the kinds of stereotypes that need to be eliminated. Boys and men should be taught that women are equal to them, not that they are superior to women. This is the problem with our society and I believe that parents should start from an early ages by choosing gender neutral colours, and allowing their children to play with whatever toys they prefer.
The problem I mentioned at the beginning is that, a lot of women forget that equality doesn’t just mean that women gain privileges but that men also deserve equality. My parents separated when I was 7 years old, I wanted to live with my dad, and it was settled that I would. I have mentioned before on this blog the almost non existent relationship I have with my mother, and so I have grown up for a lot of my life without a female role model. I’ve had to look up to teachers, my friend’s mums, and protagonists on the TV and in books. This isn’t a “boo hoo, poor me”, just trying to show you where my angle comes from. My dad had to work, and had quite a struggle finding me childcare, because he was/is a single male.
There are huge problems in the childcare system. It is very biased towards the mother. If a man and woman separate with children, and it goes to court and the woman seems to be healthy and sensible, she will get custody, no matter how great a dad the man might be. That’s how it is. When it comes to sorting out child support, again, very biased towards the mothers. It has been known that even if a man is struggling, the child support people will be ruthless in getting that money, and in some cases it has ruined men’s lives. My dad has known somebody this has happened to, and in extreme cases, there have been reports of attempted suicide.
The problem is that the woman may not be the best parent for the child to live with. For example, my own mother was living with her new boyfriend which at 7 years old was too weird a change for me. She enjoyed going out and drinking a lot, she smoked an awful lot, and just generally didn’t seem to care very much, whereas my dad put his heart and soul into raising me and has been an amazing parent. If they had gone into court for child custody, and my mum decided she wanted it, she would have got it. She didn’t have any problems so to speak, but my upbringing wouldn’t have been the same and I know there are cases in which the mother has abused the children in one way or another. It makes me mad.
Women do need to strive for further equality, there are unspoken rules in society that need to be fixed, but it goes the other way too. Perhaps in some places men need a look in. The only differences between genders is obviously the sexual organs, and a little in the build of a person’s body. Aside from that, we are the same, so why can’t we be treated that way, whether female, or male? I don’t believe very much in privilege, while one gender may have privileges in some areas of life, the other will have them elsewhere. I guess you could call me an “equalist”.
